The great British writer and lay theologian C.S. Lewis wrote that “we are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.”
Loneliness is an ever-present reality, somewhat a constant inescapable heartless social trend that is ever-growing and so unforgiven in the lives of many, so much so, that I as a health-care professional, a Chaplain, and servant of The Messiah, was inspired recently by our Heavenly Father to communicate to the beloved community and others about the need for all of us to at least be informed and educated about loneliness’s assault upon the souls of millions.
My heartfelt request is that you will pass this data on to others that you know are suffering in silence with the loneliness that is endangering their lives.
And for others, this blog post may serve in an educational tool that will enlighten as well as bless lifelong learners as we are growing in the things of God, that we all may mature in all things pertaining to this life, and the Kingdom of God to come! Grace and Peace
Preface
A holistic analysis of loneliness versus aloneness.
Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. Because it has no single common cause, the prevention and treatment of this potentially damaging state of mind can vary dramatically.
The purpose of this blog post is to define loneliness from a social and scientific, if not clinical perspective, while briefly, looking at some of the causes of loneliness, also, listing the major health risks that are associated with this condition.
The second portion of this study, we hope to communicate about the increased life-threatening realities of loneliness in essentially every age group, while at the very end of this study, I wish to offer life-changing truth from the Holy Scriptures in how loneliness can be overcome from a Biblical and Kingdom of God perspective.
Social Isolation and loneliness
As noted above, loneliness will and does impact all of humanity regardless of age, sex and ethnic identity. Yet social, behavioral researchers are deeply concerned about the issues surrounding social isolation and loneliness in the older population and men.
The National Institute on Aging (NIH) contends that as our population ages, many elderly are alone more often than those who are younger, thus leaving them very vulnerable to social isolation and loneliness. Many years of research have been amassed in very supportive data that clearly records the health problems that are in direct correlation to loneliness, such as cognitive decline, depression, and heart disease.
Social isolation and loneliness do not always go together. About 28 percent of older adults in the U.S. live alone, [according to the Administration for Community Living’s Administration on Aging of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.] Yet, many of them are not lonely or socially isolated. At the same time, some people feel lonely despite being surrounded by family and friends. [Thanks to the NIH for this abovementioned data from a research report dated April 23, 2019, “Social isolation, loneliness in older people pose health risks.”]
The major focus in our discussion is whether social isolation and loneliness are two independent processes affecting health differently, or whether loneliness provides a pathway for social isolation to affect health?
Health effects of social isolation, loneliness
Across the broad, research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks fo a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and suicide.
The people who find themselves unexpectedly alone due to the death of a spouse or partner, separation from friends or family, retirement, loss of mobility, and lack of transportation are at high risk.
On the other hand, those people who engage in meaningful, productive activities with others tend to live longer, boost their mood, and have a sense of purpose in living.
Breaking ground in loneliness research
Much of the data concerning the cause and effects of social isolation and loneliness is by the research from the late Dr. Cacioppo who contends that being alone and loneliness are different but related. Social isolation is the objective physical separation from other people (living alone), while loneliness is the subjective distressed feeling of being alone or separated. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/feb/28/loneliness-is-like-an-iceberg-john-cacioppo-social-neuroscience-interview
It’s possible to feel lonely while among other people, and you can be alone yet not feel lonely.
Definition of Loneliness
Loneliness is actually a state of one’s mind. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. To those millions of people who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.
Loneliness, according to many experts, is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, if you feel alone and isolated, then that is how loneliness plays into your state of mind.
Causes of Loneliness
Dr. John Cacioppo strongly contends that loneliness is strongly connected to genetics, yet, there are other contributing factors that include situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, and divorce. The death of someone significant in a person’s life can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Loneliness can be a symptom of a psychological disorder such as depression.
Loneliness can also be attached to some internal factors such as very low self-esteem. Often, people who lack confidence in themselves often believe that they are unworthy of the positive attention or personal regard from others, thus this can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.
Some very common health risks associated with Loneliness
- Depression and suicide
- Cardiovascular disease and stroke
- Increased stress levels
- Decreased memory and learning
- Antisocial behavior
- Poor decision-making
- Alcoholism and drug abuse
- The progression of Alzheimer’s disease
- Altered brain function
Researchers have found that low levels of loneliness are associated with marriage, higher incomes, and higher educational status. High levels of loneliness are associated with physical health symptoms, living alone, small social networks, and low-quality social relationships. [Thanks to Verywell Mind, and the updated article entitled, “The Health Consequences of Loneliness” by, Kendra Cherry]
What do the Holy Scriptures say about Loneliness and what can be done to overcome it?
Psalms 25:16-21
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles in my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord is in You.
These very words are from King David who was well-acquainted with the pain of loneliness. Those who are Godfearers and faithful followers of The Messiah, are not exempted from the realities of both loneliness and being alone.
Just as David states in this above-mentioned passage of Scripture, that his hope is in the Lord our God in assisting him the desired relief from the multi-complex afflictions and distress that loneliness brings to the soul.
King David cried out in his loneliness and despair many times, namely when his own son had risen up against him; also when the men of Israel went after him, thus forcing him to flee from the city while leaving his family and home.
God’s most powerful and faithful prophets in all of the Holy Scriptures, often experienced the negative consequences of their very effective works of being prophets by experiencing severe pain of rejection and loneliness.
As an observation, the word “lonely” is never used in the New Covenant to describe people’s mental status. Loneliness is a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feeling separated from other human beings.
The Hebrew word translated “desolate” or “lonely” in the Old Covenant means “one alone, only; one who is solitary, forsaken, wretched.” In the New Covenant, the word “lonely” occurs twice, both times refers to desolate places [Mark 1:45; Luke 5:16], where Jesus moved off into the wilderness to be alone!
Perhaps, it goes without noting that our Master experienced the most extreme experience of desolation when He was crucified on the cross, crying out loudly, “My God, My God, why have for forsaken Me?” [Mark 15:34]. Arguably one of Israel’s greatest prophets, records about our Lord’s overall ontological condition on the cross in Isaiah 53:3:
“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces He was despised, and we held Him in low esteem.” [Thank you to Michael Lee Stallard, author of the article: “What the Bible Says About Loneliness: Scriptures for Overcoming a Lonely Heart], for aiding me with this data for this segment of the post.
Answering Loneliness Biblically
Just for a moment, please reread the Isaiah 53:3 passage again! The hope and blessed assurance of the healing and or overcoming of loneliness is the reality that our Lord and Savior can empathize with our own pains and suffering of loneliness because He too experienced it!
As faithful followers of His lifestyle and teachings, we are eternally heirs to the blessings and promises of the Kingdom of God while on earth. We are as Peter describes, a chose people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter chapter 2:9.
The major thought that I wish to highlight from this 1 Peter 2:9 reference is that the function of the priest prior to the coming of The Messiah was to connect people to God. The Torah stated that God’s chosen priests were to be from the tribe of Levi [the term “Levi” which means “connect“].
With the eradication of the old priestly order, we now represent a chosen people of God, living stones that are being built up as a spiritual house for God’s latter-day holy priesthood that is charged with connecting people with God and empowered by the Holy Spirit for that purpose.
Our calling if not our mandate is to Live-out Loud and Incarnationally our Priestly calling within our culture! How are we to do this?
Proverbs 24:24
When we as believers are experiencing loneliness or strong feelings of sadness, we have the Holy Spirit actively working within our being that will not only comfort you but will connect you with God through prayer, reading, and the meditation of the Holy Scriptures. We are also encouraged to place ourselves within the community of saints in worship, communion, fellowship, and high-praise music.
What is the answer, solution or help that will aid or assist those who are not believers or faithful followers of The Messiah?
Perhaps the most important calling and ministry that the Body of Christ can do on behalf of those millions of individuals who are the most victimized by loneliness [the elderly, men, and now our youth], is to have in-reach programming that is geared toward connecting to “those who feel disconnected!”
Such a directed program is geared toward those who are believers as well as non-believers. The major concern is reaching out to connect with all people. This looks like well thought out support groups, visitation of those who are in isolation, volunteer programming into the lives of those that the researchers have the greatest concern for in our culture.
Our human natural inclination when we are feeling lonely ourselves is to pull back, trusting that someone else will heed this ministry to those that are suffering in silence with severe loneliness.
My open prayer to those who read this blog post is that you join with me and start praying to God to help us in aiding and supporting those millions who are living in loneliness.
Whether you and I work individualistically or within a local community of faithful followers, my prayer is that we all may positively respond to our mandate of living out our priestly calling by reaching out and touching someone who is waiting for us to call them out of their mental reality of feeling that they are “one alone, only; one who is solitary, forsaken, wretched.”
In closing
Being alone and being lonely are two different things. One can be alone without being lonely, and one can be lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is, therefore, a state of mind, and emotion brought on by feelings of separation from humanity.
Not to oversimplify, over spiritualized, or undermind the very real and painful experiences that both believers and nonbelievers endure due to loneliness, some individuals will need professional assistance if not supportive medication as an effective treatment methodology.
Whatever the causes of loneliness, for those who are in Christ, the cure is always the same, “the comforting fellowship of Christ. The importance of maintaining our healthy relationship with our Master will reassure and keep each of us during these times of loneliness.
He is the friend who “sticks closer than a brother! Proverbs 18:24
Micah 6:8