The above image is taken from the cover of the book, Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem, by David Blankenhorn.
Living a Life worthy of God
Have not our Heavenly Father called earthly fathers to encourage and comfort their children?
Consider 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
“For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live worthy of God, who calls you into His Kingdom and Glory!“
Preface
This blog post firstly, acts as a celebration of all of the wonderful fathers who are standing humbly strong and tall in their Godly calling as men, and leaders of their households. Secondly, this is a very brief book review of a must-read book for all men who need direction and support in fatherhood.
Please feel free to pass this information on to those who would benefit from the content.
Grace and Peace
Review
David Blankenhorn’s book Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem addresses fathers’ critical role in family dynamics and the broader social fabric. Blankenhorn identifies fatherlessness as a pivotal issue contributing to various social problems. In defining the ideal father of the family, he emphasizes several key attributes and roles that an ideal father should fulfill.
These are outlined as follows with additional Biblical references or supportive quotes:
1. Moral Authority
Blankenhorn contends that an ideal father serves as a moral guide within the family. This role involves teaching values, setting ethical standards, and leading by example. The father’s presence is crucial in fostering a moral framework that helps children distinguish right from wrong and understand their responsibilities within the family and society.
“Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.” -Charles Kettering
2. Provider
One of the traditional roles highlighted is that of the provider. Blankenhorn argues that fathers should ensure the economic well-being of the family. While this role has evolved with changing economic and social dynamics, the ideal father’s responsibility includes contributing to the financial stability and security of the household.
But if a man makes no provision for those dependent on him, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is behaving worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8
3. Protector
In the ideal model, a father also acts as a protector. This involves not just physical protection but also ensuring the safety and emotional well-being of the family members. Blankenhorn underscores the importance of fathers in creating a secure environment where children feel safe and supported.
“A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.” -Blankenhorn
4. Nurturer
Blankenhorn broadens the scope of the father’s role to include nurturing. This contrasts with stereotypical notions of fatherhood as solely authoritative or disciplinary. He advocates for fathers who are emotionally available, affectionate, and involved in their children’s lives, fostering their emotional and psychological growth.
“Becoming father the nurturer rather than just father the provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do. -Frank Pittman
5. Family Bonding Agent
The ideal father is also seen as a crucial link in family cohesion. Blankenhorn argues that fathers play a vital role in maintaining family unity and fostering strong interpersonal relationships within the family unit. This involves active participation in family activities and rituals, and being a consistent presence in the lives of family members.
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: He believed in me.” -Jim Valvano
6. Role Model
Fathers serve as primary role models for their children, particularly in modeling adult behavior and gender roles. Blankenhorn stresses the importance of fathers demonstrating positive attributes, such as integrity, responsibility, and respect, which children are likely to emulate.
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head, and ornament about your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9
7. Commitment to Fatherhood
Blankenhorn emphasizes that the ideal father is deeply committed to his role as a parent. This commitment is not merely a matter of fulfilling obligations but involves an enduring dedication to the well-being and development of his children. This includes being present, engaged, and responsible.
“Fatherhood is not a matter of station or wealth. It is a matter of desire, diligence, and determination to see one’s family exalted in the celestial kingdom. If that prize is lost, nothing else really matters.” – Ezra Taft Benson
8. Balanced Approach to Discipline
The ideal father maintains a balanced approach to discipline, combining firmness with empathy. Blankenhorn suggests that fathers should establish clear boundaries and expectations while also being understanding and supportive, helping children learn from their mistakes and grow in a nurturing environment.
“Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
9. Support for the Mother
Finally, Blankenhorn highlights the father’s role in supporting the mother. This support can take many forms, including emotional backing, sharing domestic responsibilities, and collaborating in parenting decisions. This partnership is essential for creating a stable and loving home environment.
As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you… Isaiah 66:13; As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103:13
In closing, I strongly encourage men and women to read this book to understand the multifaced challenges the family historically is facing, while many for the first time, will reevaluate the importance that fathers play in the family construct.
In Fatherless America, Blankenhorn argues that the presence of such an ideal father figure is crucial for the well-being of children and the health of society as a whole. He warns against the consequences of fatherlessness, suggesting that the absence of these roles can lead to significant social challenges. Through this framework, Blankenhorn underscores the multifaceted nature of fatherhood and its profound impact on family dynamics and societal stability.
References:
- Blankenhorn, D. (1995). Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. Basic Books.
Grace and Peace
Brother Alonzo
