Quote
They who attain a faithful friend find a Precious Treasure
Preface
As is my tendency during quiet time reflection, I often read through books, articles, and other sources to become intrigued by wisdom statements. The above ancient saying caught my attention and is the essence of this week’s blog post.
The prominent question that I am seeking to discover in my study is, what is the foundation of a long-lasting friendship? The second question that is begging to be answered is what types of relationships are unhealthy and why?
Featured Scripture
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Affinity Connections
Biblical Interpretation
A man of many friends will suffer loss, for he will impoverish himself by constant hospitality, and in times of trouble and distress, they all will desert him at his greatest need. Consider this passage from Psalm 41:9, “Even my close friend, on whom I relied, who shared my table, has turned against me.”
But there is a friend, who possesses a more profound love than just an associate. The best term to describe this one-in-a-thousand friend is a kindred, timed tested companion. Such a friend according to Scripture defines Abraham as a friend of God [Isaiah 41:8; 2 Chronicles 20:7, James 2:23].
Abraham showed his love for God through his faith accompanied by obedience, Genesis 12:1, 4: 15:6. He was more than an acquaintance of God and a companion. He was a friend of God. The same is true with Moses. The Hebrew Scriptures amplified the friendship and intimacy both of them had with God.
This level of love that flows through a mutual friendship is only possible through a reciprocal relationship between two people who share a bond of mutual affection. The writer of Proverbs 18:24 says that this friend will cling as though they are cleaved as one.
A trustworthy friend reveals their true character by remaining faithful at all times. Proverbs 17:17 says it in this way, “it is for the adversity that such a brother is born.” Proverbs 27:10 warns not to abandon a friend who is also a friend of your father. Such a deep attachment between two friends will naturally become horizontally extended to others within the family.
Modern-day Practical Real-Life Application
A couple of unhealthy choices.
Having friends based on their prestige, fame, or material abundance is what is called a transactional relationship. These types of relationships can end at the slightest moment due to the reality that the basis of the friendship is not founded on intrinsic qualities. These types of relationships are poor choices because they only serve one’s interest or supply needs.
Another poor relationship choice is forged upon our attraction to others’ skills, talents, and qualities. Such an attraction may result in not having a long-lasting relationship because that friend with a highly esteemed quality, talents, and skills may misuse these as a form of superiority or dislike toward the other person.
The best friendships are based on values or virtues. There is an abundant list of the most important virtues needed for healthy relationships, but according to my research, these are the most noted:
- Courage
- Benevolence
- Honesty
- Sacrifice
- Justice
- Compassion
- Patience
- Loyalty
- Equality
- Independence
To create the possible long-lasting friendship that is indeed a Precious Treasure, these virtues must be cultivated not only during “the good times” but at the times of adversity when such a brother/sister is conceived. Proverbs 17:17
Indispensable
So long as we love, we serve. So long as we are loved by others I would almost say we are indispensable; no man is useless when he has a friend. -R. L. Stevenson
Abiding in Love
Reflection
Christ demands from us what he offers. If he strips himself before our eyes, he claims that we should do the same. As our God he knows every fiber of the being which he has made; as our Savior, he knows every instant in the past in which we have swerved from his obedience; but, as our friend, he waits for us to tell him.
Robert Hugh Benson (1871-1914)
Jesus gave everything to his friends—his knowledge of God and his own life. Jesus is our model for friendship because he loved without limits, and he makes it possible for us to live a life of friendship because we have been transformed by everything he shared with us. [Quote by Gail R. O’Day]
This is my command: that you keep on loving each other just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than a person who lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.
I no longer call you slaves, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is about; but I have called you friends, because everything I have heard from my Father, I have made known to you. John 15:12-15
In John 15:14, friendship with Jesus is conditional: “you are my friends if you do what I command you.” But in John 15:15, that condition seems to be removed, because Jesus says, “I do not call you servants any longer…but I have called you friends.”
What accounts for the change? Not something that the disciples have done, because their enactment of Jesus’ commandments remains in the future. No, it is something that Jesus has done: “I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father” (John 15:15).
Jesus, speaks plainly and honestly with his disciples and through this plain speaking, acknowledges them as his friends. The disciples are Jesus’ friends because he has spoken to them openly; he has made known to them everything that he has heard from the Father.
In sharing everything, Jesus “enables his disciples to participate in the intimacy and trust of the Father, through which they acquire that ‘openness’’ (parrēsia) which is the privilege of a free man and a friend….”
This intimacy can be seen most clearly in the foot-washing story of John 13, The foot-washing is a sacrament of friendship. For example, the verb used to describe Jesus’ removal of his outer robe at 13:4 is the same verb used in John 10 to describe Jesus’ laying down his life (10:15, 17-18). Jesus’ “laying down his robe” anticipates his “laying down his life” in friendship.
In the foot washing, Jesus offers himself completely to his disciples, assuming the social role of servant, to give a tangible shape to his love. Servants, not hosts or masters, wash the feet of guests, and in the foot washing, Jesus makes the ultimate act of hospitality and friendship. He stands neither on ceremony nor precedent but engages in an act that makes his love and grace visible.
In the act of foot washing, Jesus and the disciples move from being servants and masters to being friends. Jesus will name this transformation for the disciples in John 15:15, but he has already enacted it for them in the foot washings. He has led them into the mysteries of God, in action and word.
By washing their feet, Jesus gives the disciples something—a share with him—and that share with Jesus is what makes any subsequent acts of service and friendship possible for the disciples. Jesus has transformed the community through his love so that they can continue his acts of love.
Love and service are defined by what Jesus has done, and what Jesus has done is share himself completely with the disciples through the symbolic act of foot washing. [content in this section Jesus as the source of Friendship was gleaned from the article: I Have Called You Friends, by Gail R. O’Day]
The main ideals of friendship in ancient literature included loyalty (sometimes to the death), equality and mutual sharing of all possessions, and an intimacy in which a friend could share everything in confidence. The Master especially emphasizes the last point in verse 15, where he distinguishes a friend from a servant, who might also be loyal but would not share intimate secrets. [source: Bible Background Commentary-New Testament, John 15:9-17, Craig S. Keener]
Cultivating healthy relationships is an extension of abiding in Christ the vine and we are His branches. As our very source of life, our friendship with Christ and others is the source of fruit-bearing as faithful disciples of the Messiah. The two-fold blessedness of remaining vitally connected to Christ is that all disciples will experience the extreme joy that will be complete and all of the inherited spiritual benefits of the promises of our Heavenly Father.
Closing Thoughts
Without question, the most important friendship that any human being can have is with God’s redeemer Christ. He is the quintessential hidden precious treasure that is waiting to be found by the millions of souls who are lost, rejected, alone, homeless, and without purpose or direction in life.
Emissary Paul faithfully continues the work of Christ [as we also are called and commissioned to do] in Colosse by saying these life-giving words of hope for any of us today who are discouraged, unloved, and spiritually impoverished.
“My purpose is that they may be encouraged, that they may be joined together in love, and that they may have all the riches derived from being assured of understanding and fully knowing God’s secret truth, which is the Messiah! It is in Him that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden.”
Colossians 2:2-3
What a Trustworthy Friend and Faithful Brother we have In Christ!
Grace and Peace
Brother Alonzo
